Only instead of twisted metal

The 15 Best Songs That Are Totally About Masturbation

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Canada Goose sale It’s no surprise that this band, named after a vibrator, penned a few ditties about pleasuring oneself. The song’s titular orgasm addict is so out of control that his jeans are covered with stains, which raises an important question: If you were literally addicted to masturbation, would you really be giving your jeans an impromptu stone washing before hanging out with your mom? Wouldn’t an addict be a little better at concealing it? It’s not like alcoholics drink canada goose parka outlet uk whiskey right before coming home and kissing their wives. They mix it in with their morning coffee so no one will smell it on them. Which bring us to another important question: God damn you dad, why couldn’t you have just been an orgasm addict? Canada Goose sale

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canadian goose jacket This song could actually be about dancing with oneself. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. But Billy canada goose outlet in toronto Idol is such a jerk off, and «love vibration» is such a lame phrase, that it’s almost definitely about jerking off. Fun Fact: while this song was ironic in the ’80s canada goose outlet mississauga when Billy Idol canada goose outlet website legit could canada goose outlet boston get laid easier than he could get groceries, it’s canada goose outlet canada lyrics, sadly, are true now Billy Idol spends most days dancing around his one bedroom apartment naked, jacking off once or twice an hour. Life really imitates art, doesn’t it? canadian goose jacket

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buy canada goose jacket The great song from the new wave era mixes excessive masturbation and racial insensitivity into one incredibly creepy, undeniably catchy stew. The title implies that too much hand shandy will leave you squinting like canada goose outlet locations in toronto a stereotypical Japanese person it sounds like the Vapors’ parents and our canada goose outlet near me parents read the same pamphlet, «Ways to Scare Your Constantly Masturbating American Child.» The way we always chose to look at it: if you punish your baby ferret enough, you can learn a new language. buy canada goose jacket

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canada goose store Until our slumber party concept album is released next month, this will be the catchiest song about girlie masturbation. But however catchy, Cyndi Lauper better make sure she explains to the chaperone that one of his duties will be prying her hands out of her vagina, because that’s not usually under a chaperone’s purview. In addition to introducing us to the existence of chaperones that forcibly stopped masturbation, «She Bop» also introduced us to the phrase canada goose outlet houston «danger zone,» which is used to refer to a lady area. Wait, does that mean that the song «Highway to the Danger Zone» is about traveling to a girl’s Christian spot? Because we find it hard to believe that Kenny Loggins would want to be anywhere near a human vagina. canada goose store

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canada goose deals Whereas most songs about solo sex depend on euphemisms and innuendo, this band of Aussies pretty much says it like it is. And as the ’80s documentary Crocodile Dundee demonstrated, there’s nothing Aussies do better than shoot from the hip. It’s like DiVinyls listened to all the other songs on this canada goose discount uk list and said, «That’s not a song about masti bayshoon this is a song about masti bayshoon.» On a side note, where are all of the Australian dudes who kill Crocodiles and make pithy comments about the backwards nature of American life? All the ones we meet seem more interested in having gelled hair and engaging us in drunken conversations about extreme sports canada goose deals.

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